Guest Blog from All Things Lez…Thanks Dyke!

“As a lesbian, I’m tired of the attempt to label and include every sexuality that isn’t heterosexuality.”

First we were the ‘gays’ then we were ‘the gay community’ then we were the LGB community and then another letter got added, then another until we’ve arrived at this alphabet soup of an acronym LGBTQQIA. As a lesbian, I’m tired of the attempt to label and include every sexuality that isn’t heterosexuality.

Up until a few weeks ago, I wasn’t aware that another “Q” was added to the already one letter too long acronym. Furthermore, I had to research what the other newly added letters, “I” and “A” stood for. Apparently the letters stand for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Ally.

I appreciate the effort from whoever thought that every label a non-heterosexual can be called should be added to the acronym, however it’s not necessary, really. I know everyone likes to be included and as politically correct as some people think all “34,000” letters in the acronym are, it actually doesn’t make the group more inclusive, just more ridiculous and that leads to even more exclusion.

Quite frankly, I feel like a loser to be included in part of this ridiculously long acronym. I would actually rather be called a non-heterosexual than identify as anything that might get added to the acronym.

Let’s break it down and decide if all of these extra letters are actually needed, shall we?

So LESBIAN is considered to be the “politically correct” term referring to gay females; however, as a gay female, I actually prefer to be called gay rather than lesbian, or better yet, how about just Ashley?

The term GAY is generally used when referring to gay males, but in my circle of friends, most of the gay males actually identify as queer. Ironically enough, that letter is actually another letter in the “alphabet soup.” Does that means we are now playing favorites by letting gay boys have two letters in the acronym or is there another gender of homosexual people I’m not aware of?

Next we have TRANSGENDERED, which seems to be an appropriate letter for a change. For those of you who don’t know what transgendered means, it means that a person who was born with the genitalia of a certain sex, but identifies as the other sex internally. Or for a better example, a person born a boy, who acts, thinks, and dresses as a girl or vice versa.

As we said before, QUEER is equivalent to GAY, so now, that leaves us with the other “Q” in the alphabet, QUESTIONING.

Why do we need questioning? If you are questioning, then you shouldn’t have your own letter. I’m sorry. You should wait to figure out which letter you identify as. That’s like adding a K for Katy Perry because she kissed a girl and liked it.

The LGBT community has been fighting for 30 plus years for people to understand that homosexuality is NOT a choice. Questioning implies that someone is choosing whether or not he/she is gay. Questioning goes against everything I identify as and fight for. Therefore, the second Q is not necessary.

Next we have INTERSEX. Why does that belong in the phrase/acronym/alphabet soup?

According to www.intersexualite.com, many people with intersex identify as gay or lesbian, but also, at the same time, many intersex adults find the issue of homosexuality irrelevant to their perception of themselves. Therefore, I’m fairly positive that intersex is another wasted letter.

So what about an ALLY? It’s nice to include everyone, but I don’t think that people who support homosexuality should be included in the acronym. It’s great that they support homosexuality, but we are not fighting for the equality of allies, they already are equal. Allies have the legal right to be married, vote, pay taxes and everything. We are fighting for the equality of lesbian/bi/gay/transgendered peoples. It’s as simple as that.

Lastly, we have BI. There are a lot of mixed feelings and emotions about bisexuals. I admit, I too have mixed emotions about bisexuals. In my opinion, there are two types of bisexuals… one type that is attracted to the person regardless of her/his gender, and there is the Lindsay Lohan’s of the world who find a cute lesbian that looks like a boy, experiments with them, has a good time (of course), and then calls themselves a bisexual because they were attracted to one girl. But when a bisexual person is dating the same sex that person is gay to the world, so why do we need the letter?

As for ALLY, well, as they say in kindergarten, you get a gold sticker for supporting your gay friends and family. But you shouldn’t get a letter in the acronym. Just because you marched beside me in the Pride Parade doesn’t mean you’ve experienced the sort of discrimination a gay person has. When we give you a letter, we make a mockery of ourselves.

And that is my point. This trail of letters is about as silly as a bathhouse. We may as well start adding letters for all groups that feel ostracized whether or not it’s for who their members like to sleep with. Hermaphrodites, asexuals, and Muslim fundamentalist groups, please apply to get your letter, too! At one point these letters worked as one voice to make it safe to be openly gay, but not it’s clearly become a sick game to make everyone feel included. Our community takes a step backward in our fight for equality every time a letter gets added. Just think about that.

Dyke at All Things Lez [dot] com

www.allthingslez.com

11 Comments

  1. Yes! Yes! Yes! I agree with all of this!!! So sick of the “stick-em” labeling that people feel they have to do to describe non-heteros. Thank you for putting it out there so perfectly!!

  2. Hi,

    I read this post with interest, found I disagreed with a few points, and then went away.

    It’s been with me all morning though, and I feel I have to comment in order to stop turning this over in my mind. I also dislike the ‘LGBT…’ acronym – but that’s just because I don’t think sexuality should be a big deal, and I can’t wait for the day when we can just say ‘I’m dating Michelle/John’ and it not matter whether you’re male, female or transgender.

    HOWEVER, I really struggled with the writer’s contempt towards bisexuals and bisexuality. I never want to see anyone get hurt, but I strongly believe that none of us have a right to tell other people what their sexual orientation is. Lindsey Lohan did date Sam Ronson, if she wants to call herself bisexual then we (straight, gay or even bisexual) cannot in good faith say that she is not – because that’s just as judgemental as those who say that being gay is ‘wrong’.

    On top of that, being bisexual is a genuine sexual orientation that never goes away. I HATE the term, but I have dated, slept with and fallen in love with both boys and girls. It’s not that I’m attracted to someone regardless of their gender – I’m just attracted to certain people of both genders. I’m currently in a relationship with another girl – but I’m still bisexual, not a lesbian. How do I know? Well, if I weren’t with my girlfriend, I’d be just as likely to date a boy as another girl… Bisexuality doesn’t go away.

    Anyway, that’s just my two pence, but I feel it’s really quite discriminatory to say that bisexuals don’t deserve to be included in the LGBT acronym because you don’t believe that they’re ‘a good enough gay’ or because ‘really, they’re just gay/lesbian’. It goes against everything you’ve said about wanting equality and that being gay isn’t a choice. (Despite what Cynthia Nixon may say) being bisexual isn’t a choice either – and taking ‘B’ out of the ‘LGBT’ acronym is denying the sexuality of a group of people.

    Carley

    http://www.asummerfullofpeaches.com

  3. I really like the little rant about bisexuals 😀 My girlfriend is bisexual and it is so annoying when people think she is a lesbian… when she isn’t. People need to stop trying to put others into a little box and just leave it be! And kissing a girl once does not mean you are a lesbian or bisexual… but it could fall in the Q or other Q category 😛

    -Dalylah

  4. I don’t agree with everything here, but I do agree that the freaking letters have gotten out of hand. It’s insane, I know we want to be inclusive but if you include everybody it stops making sense. Like the NAACP doesn’t need to include other races who support equality, because it’s implied that they are included, not spelled out.

  5. For me its a Yes and No to the huge acronym in a way it’s nice to have a community to belong to since we are at times outsiders. But the more labels they add the more they make it seem like we are non-human or something. To me it can sound demeaning to have so many labels. It’s some what similar to the phrase ‘coming out’ in a way it’s liberating to be honest with yourself and others but the phrase also makes it sound that we are imprisoned somehow. Anyway thanks for the post and bringing attention to it. Check out my blog at myownpsychblog.com. I would appreciate it.

  6. OMG! When did they add all those extra letters?
    I have to tell you when you first typed it out I thought you were just kidding… then it turns out you were dead serious.

  7. I agree with most things said in this piece! Thanks, it was very interesting to read 🙂
    The letters tend to confuse me, and I don’t want to seem as if I’m neglecting any particular contingent, but I really see no point in including 43536 letters in the acronym. Sure, I understand that everyone is entitled to recognition and pride, however can’t we just make an acronym that represents everyone. However some DO seem unnecessary….
    Although – and this is coming from a bisexual – I must say I took offense to your view on the worthiness of the ‘B’ in the acronym.
    “But when a bisexual person is dating the same sex that person is gay to the world, so why do we need the letter?”
    ^^^ They are still bisexual. It’s like saying that if I was dating a guy, I’d be straight. No, I’d be a bisexual girl dating a male. It’s not something fluctuates depending on which gender I’m currently dating… it remains.
    I know there are a lot of negative stereotypes related to bisexuals – and although most stereotypes spring from some element of truth – this one has certainly gone way out of control.
    So that’s just what I think.
    But thanks for an entertaining article!

  8. Thanks Carley and keep your youth forever! Bisexuals get discrimination from gay and straight alike. This post does a fine job of showing why bisexuals need their own identity and hence a letter. How many of us get reminded on a fairly regular basis that we are not gay/lesbian and hence “other?”

    I agree the acronym is getting ridiculous and we’re starting to include things that by right have nothing to do with sexual orientation but some of the backlash seems to be a thinly veiled way to exclude or silence whatever type of queer we don’t like.

  9. Oh, and by the way, why do people insist on thinking that bisexuals change orientations when they change relationships? Is it really so mind bendingly difficult to see that if a person maintains the ability to be attracted to people of the same sex/gender or a different one that they’re still bi regardless of who occupies their bed at the moment. If defining sexual orientation by the relationship we are currently in made any sense at all I’d imagine that gays who closet themselves in “heterosexual” marriages would emerge “cured” of their gayness. We all know about how well that works though…

  10. Ok First of all i have to apologize for my bad english. I’m from Germany indeed. I find it very interesting that you have Q for questioning and A for ally. The complete phrase i know for the community is LGBTQAIP therefore stands Q for queer as opposite to heteronormative and similiar to ally. A for asexual, I for intersexual and P for pansexual. Hetersexuality is still the majority and though we should be all treated the same the sad fact is we are not. Everyone who doesn’t fit in the category “hetersexual” is an outcast and is seen as “unnormal”. With this said the rights of equality matter to every non-hetersexual person. So why not put all our letter together in one Bij

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