Although, the title may imply a comical stance on domestic violence, it is no joke and it does happen in gay and lesbian relationships, but can sometimes be overlooked because of the same-sex aspect of the relationship. Some things I might touch on may seem cheesy or cliché but it is true and it does happen. When it does it is very serious, just like you wouldn’t let a man hit you, you should never let a partner hit you either. It just isn’t right and it does get worse.
Usually in lesbian relationships arguments can be heated and that can be considered normal, but after it reaches the point of no return then you need to find and recognize the signs. First off, when those heated arguments get more heated or the quantity of the arguments increases, you need to know that a chat or some sort of communication is necessary. Or if verbal abuse is present: name calling, cussing ETC. that is not good. Sometimes verbal abuse is just as bad if not worse than physical abuse.
On that note, if you feel like you can’t talk to your partner because she is so touchy and will go off at the drop of a hat, that is something that needs to be taken seriously. You should always be able to communicate with your partner and not have that fear that she will just go off on you. If you feel like you are walking on egg shells sometimes or all the time then check into that.
Breaking things in an argument or throwing things is also a sign that anger and meanness is present. If things get thrown during arguments even if they are not thrown directly at you that is still something to look at and to recognize as violent behavior. The same thing with breaking stuff, it is unneccessary and violent.
When the physical things start then you need to take a hint and hopefully take action. Do not let anyone hit you or act violently toward you. It is not worth it, not only could it end in death it could never end. It might seem hard and you might be terrified but believe me when I tell you that getting away is possible. If you have been dealing with this for a while it is still never too late to do something about it. Any type of physical behavior out of anger is about, whether it’s a push, hair pulling, grabbing or whatever.
Believe it or not, there are people out there who take same-sex abuse just as seriously as heterosexual abuse. Women’s shelters, counsellors, and experts are there to help. They will not judge you they will help but only if you want help.
Do not let it get out of hand, if you feel like you are in that situation reach out, send me an anonymous email and I will send you a list of places that can help. Believe me being a survivor is better than not being one and I have been there, so I am not just writing this blog with no particular goal in mind.