Do you get along with your partner’s family? Has getting along or lack thereof been something that affects your relationship? Have you ever dated somebody because you loved their family but not them? Does your partner’s family even know that their daughter is a lesbian? How would you feel if you were hidden away and kept secret just because your girl is too afraid to come out?
If fighting with your partner’s family is something that happens often, then it is time to reevaluate the current state of your relationship. I believe that if you fight with your girl’s parents, siblings or whatever, that it has most likely taken some sort of toll on the relationship itself. It is a given that you will not agree with everything that her family has to say or what they do, but how you deal with it can make or break your sanity and your relationship. Especially if your girl is close to her family, this could cause major issues.
Think about how much your girl means to you, will you eventually want to marry her (ahhh yes I said marry)? If so then you will definitely need to make amends. This could be simple or hard, it just depends on how grown up you can be about it, and seeing as how you are grown enough to love another person, this should be easy.
Here is a checklist to become more friendly with your girl’s family:
- Talk to them, tell them your issues, conversation is key.
- Be open and honest but not rude or mean.
- If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all, or ever.
- Let them know you love their daughter, sister or whoever, and that you only want peace.
- Have a dinner once a month and be civil, invite them yourself.
- Any activity (every once in a while) will keep you in the “grown-up” section of this relationship and possibly show how you can adapt and change.
- Do not talk crap about your girl’s family in front of her.
- Do not start fights with your girl about them, they are her family, she didn’t choose them.
- Compromise with your girl and tell her she can have weekly dates (or whatever) with her fam and that you will stay home and have some alone time.
- Don’t bitch, just be yourself, and if it still doesn’t work, then move on, don’t try anymore, and save yourself the stress. This is an adult two-way street.
Just remember, you love your partner and even if you don’t love her family, they are still a part of her life.
On the other end of the spectrum, if you do get along with your girl’s family then that is great, keep it up, don’t change anything. If she doesn’t get along with your family, switch all this around and let her know what her options are. Keep communicating.